


Confessions

by obiwanken5



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-25 15:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3815080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obiwanken5/pseuds/obiwanken5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan ends up on Tatooine before the Clone Wars begin, rather than getting captured on Geonosis. The result is a series of confessions that have the potential to change the course of events that mark the life of Anakin Skywalker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I needed something to write for Camp NaNo April 2015. I had the FF100 table staring at me. This strange AU hit me and I'm curious to see where it goes.

The torrent of rain cascaded down over Obi-Wan Kenobi in relentless sheets as he ran back onto the platform. Slave I was lifting off as Jango Fett disappeared inside the hold and the ramp closed. Obi-Wan retrieved his lightsabre and ignited it, but the bounty hunter had no more interest in the Jedi today. So, in one swift movement, Obi-Wan drew a tracking beacon from his pocket and threw it at the departing ship. It adhered to the hull just as the engines began to glow and the ship rocketed up into Kamino's atmosphere. Knowing that his time on this planet was at an end, Obi-Wan hurried back to the landing platform that housed his starfighter.

The Jedi's attempts at raising his astromech, R4-P17, were futile, and as he emerged into the rain once again it became clearly evident why: a quick inspection determined that someone, possibly young Boba Fett, had sabotaged the Delta-7 starfighter, preventing the Jedi from leaving Kamino. Working as quickly as he could, Obi-Wan had R4 rewired so that he could at least send a coded transmission back to Coruscant. After informing the Jedi Council on the status of his mission and providing the tracking beacon frequencies, Master Windu assured the soggy Jedi Master that they would contact Master Stass Allie - currently deployed on Rodia - to continue the pursuit of the bounty hunter. Obi-Wan could do nothing but wait until his ship was repaired before he could go anywhere.

Moments before Lama Su returned to tell Obi-Wan that repairs were complete, the Jedi - deep in meditation - felt a disturbance in the Force. It had the distinct flavour of Anakin attached to it, causing Obi-Wan to snap out of his meditation far more quickly than he would have liked. The seconds of disorientation resolved into the Kaminoan's chime at the door, and once the pleasantries were observed, Obi-Wan was guiding his starfighter off of Kamino and into the blackness of space. Thinking to send a message to Anakin, Obi-Wan frowned as he couldn't get a lock on his Padawan's comlink on Naboo. A brief inquiry relocated the younger Jedi on... _Tatooine? What the blazes is he doing on Tatooine?_ Setting a course for the desert planet, Obi-Wan sighed and settled in for the trip.

It wasn't difficult to locate the Naboo ship several miles outside of Mos Eisley spaceport. Foregoing the formalities of officially docking, Obi-Wan brought his fighter down near the sleek silver craft parked outside the Lars' homestead. The Jedi was met by Senator Amidala, and two young adults who were rapidly introduced to Obi-Wan as Owen Lars and his girlfriend Beru. Cliegg, Owen's father, was resting and unable to greet the Jedi personally. Padme, with her usual blunt and succinct manner, informed Obi-Wan with the basics: Anakin had had a premonition about his mother, only to arrive to find her dead, killed by a tribe of Tusken raiders in the north. Anakin was currently holed up in the garage, according to his step-brother, and had been ever since the funeral they'd held for Shmi Skywalker.

\--

The cool shadows of the garage were a welcome change from the heat of the planet's twin suns, and Obi-Wan had to blink a few times to adjust to the softer light afforded by the enclosed space. Anakin stood at a work bench idly repairing some bits of junk. His scowl matched the grief, anger, and shame that rolled off the boy in palpable waves. Obi-Wan paused at the bottom of the steps, not wanting to force his presence on his Padawan's ruminations. He stood quietly, arms across his chest and tucked in his sleeves as he waited for Anakin to make the first move. As the Padawan's awareness of Obi-Wan's identity finally permeated the fog around him, whatever doors that Anakin used to conceal his feelings began to shut.

"Don't," Obi-Wan said quietly, reaching out to his Padawan through the Force. "Don't shut me out, Anakin. Not here, not now."

Anakin spun around to confront his master, the anger winning out briefly as it flashed through his eyes. Obi-Wan held his ground, his expression filled with compassion as he regarded the hurt on Anakin's face. The elder Jedi took a tentative step closer, and let his arms fall to his sides. A torrent of emotions played over Anakin's face as the youth internally struggled with the desire to shut his Master out, and the need to confide in someone, _anyone_ , about what had happened. It was clear that Anakin had never intended for the Jedi to ever find out about whatever it was, and now that Obi-Wan was here instead of Padme, Anakin's plans seemed to be crumbling. He'd broken his mandate to protect the Senator and stay on Naboo so he could rescue his mother from his nightmares; Anakin fully expected to be reprimanded, but when nothing of the sort came from Obi-Wan, his resolve began to waver and then crumble.

Whether in need of a strong, solid presence to shore him up, or simply because he needed a hug, Anakin dropped the hydrospanner and closed the distance between the two of them and wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan. Despite not being prepared for such a response, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his student. When the sobs started, Obi-Wan held on a little tighter, allowing Anakin to purge his emotions.

When the sobs gave way to sodden hiccoughs and loud sniffles, words emerged from the vicinity of Obi-Wan's shoulder: "I killed them. All of them. Even the women, and the children...I slaughtered them like _animals_."

Obi-Wan sighed, but didn't release his Padawan. "You reacted out of anger and grief," he offered, his tone carrying a hint of empathy. He'd felt, and reacted to, those same emotions almost ten years ago, when he watched his own Master cut down by a Sith apprentice. "I don't know what to tell you, other than that."

"I want her back!"

"I know; I can't give her to you, Anakin. I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry." And with those words, Obi-Wan felt his own tears caress his cheek. He would never recall how long they stood there after that. The only thing that Obi-Wan would say is that it was first time in their ten years together as Master and Padawan in which the Master _finally_ felt like his Padawan believed that they were on the same side.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Anakin head to Geonosis to help Master Allie, who's been captured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing the ground-work for my Confessions-verse. Dialogue shamelessly stolen from AOTC.

R2-D2 summoned both Jedi and Senator to the Naboo ship with an urgent message from Master Stass Allie; the Tholothian Jedi had picked up the tracking signal from the beacon Obi-Wan had placed on Jango Fett's and followed it to Geonosis. She had infiltrated the compound and discovered that the Trade Federation, the Techno Union, the InterGalactic Banking Clan, and others had come together to discuss the emergence of the Confederacy of Independent Systems. Together they would exacerbate the alarming trend of nations seceding from the Republic by declaring open warfare upon the august body of the Senate. In the midst of her report, blaster fire erupted from somewhere off-camera, forcing Allie to draw her lightsabre in defense. Destroyer droids entered the holocam field just as Master Allie stepped out of view. Moments later the transmission cut off.

Master Allie's comm-system didn't seem to have the range to send her message all the way back to Coruscant - it was probably damaged - so Anakin re-routed the full message to the Temple, whereupon a grave-faced Master Windu frowned back at the Master-Padawan duo. He signed off by ordering the two Jedi to stay on Tatooine and protect the Senator, but apparently Padme was having none of it.

"I'm planning to go and save Master Allie; if you two want to obey your orders to protect me, you'll just have to come along."

Obi-Wan raised a brow at Padme's sass, though Anakin's grin at her words wasn't lost on him. He wondered just what exactly had happened on Naboo between the Senator and the Padawan.

-

The trio were forced into the droid foundries of Geonosis where, after a brief battle with the locals, they were outnumbered and taken by Jango Fett to the Geonisian Council. Senator Amidala tried her best to secure a diplomatic resolution, but in the end it was no use. Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padme were to be sent to the Petranaki arena for execution, alongside Master Allie. After a lengthy battle against four terrifying creatures, including an acklay, a reek, and a nexu, a cadre of Jedi led by Master Windu materialized from out of the gathered Geonosian crowd and rallied toward the prisoners. Windu held Dooku at ‘sabre point for a long moment, but soon after, droids filled the arena and boxed the prisoners in. The fight began again in earnest, until all the Jedi were gathered in the centre of the arena, standing back to back as the relentless onslaught closed in on them. Though it seems all was lost, the whine of engines emerged from the din of battle as a dozen troop transports descended upon the arena.

Master Yoda and the Clone Army had arrived.

-

The gunship bearing Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padme raced over the Geonosian landscape. The army he'd discovered on Kamino was as well-trained as the cloners had advertised; the troopers were efficient and seemed to have no qualms about taking orders from the Jedi. By Anakin's suggestion, the gunners targeted the fleeing enemy ships at their fuels cells, felling one in a single pass. As the smoke cleared Obi-Wan pointed across the valley at several fast-moving objects that were rapidly pulling away from the engagement.

"Look over there!"

"It's Dooku," the Padawan announced. "Shoot him down!"

"We're out of rockets, sir," the clone replied.

"Follow him!" Anakin ordered. The pilot pulled the gunship into a tight turn to take up the chase.

"We're gonna need some help," Padme pointed out.

"There isn't time," Obi-Wan replied. "Anakin and I can handle this."

As they moved away from the main battle and crossed into the desert proper, the ships flying escort for the retreating former Jedi pulled away and circled around behind the gunship. They fired relentlessly upon the pursuing Jedi. As they cleared a large dune, an explosion rocked the ship, sending Padme and several clones tumbling over the side and into the sand below. The surge of panic that floated off of Anakin had Obi-Wan whipping around to face his apprentice.

"Padme! ...PUT THE SHIP DOWN," Anakin bellowed.

"Anakin! Don't let your personal feelings get in the way! Follow that speeder!"

Anakin would have none it, though, as he tried to countermand his Master with a heated, "Lower the ship!"

Obi-Wan stepped in front of Anakin and caught his gaze. "I can't take Dooku alone. I need you! If we catch him, we can end this war right now! _We have a job to do._ "

"I don't care!" Anakin retorted. "Put the ship down!"

"You will be _expelled_ from the Jedi Order!" It killed Obi-Wan to say the words, but they needed to be said.

"But I can't leave her!"

"Come to your senses! What do you think Padme would do if she were in your position?" Obi-Wan watched the sour resignation on Anakin's face.

"...She would do her duty."

Satisfied that the matter was settled for the time being, Obi-Wan spared a final look for his Padawan before he returned his focus to the matter at hand. He had an idea, now, of what had happened between Anakin and Padme, and it worried him. Every time he turned around, Anakin's actions rekindled old memories and sent fire across the scars of Obi-Wan's soul; all the mistakes and missteps that Obi-Wan had taken in his youth were coming back to haunt him through his Padawan. He wondered briefly if Qui-Gon had ever felt the same way. One thing was for certain, however: He and Anakin were going to have a very long talk about this once the mission was over...  



	3. Confessions: Galactic Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan talks to Anakin about falling in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing in my Confessions-verse. Some dialogue taken/paraphrased from _Star Wars: Secrets of the Jedi_ , and one line is based upon one of Obi-Wan's comments to Anakin in _Yoda: Dark Rendezvous_.

It was almost fitting that a gentle rain was falling on Coruscant for this conversation. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure how Anakin would react to what he had to say, but he hoped it would be positive. One could never tell with his apprentice, and with recent events, Obi-Wan was almost convinced that Anakin wouldn’t be up to taking much more abuse. But still, Obi-Wan had to try.

Obi-Wan usually preferred the Room of a Thousand Fountains for conversations such as the one he was going to be having with Anakin, but the risk of Anakin having associated the lush arboretum with lectures and personal discussions was high, and Obi-Wan didn’t want to start with the disadvantage of a guarded apprentice. So he sat waiting in a sheltered copse within one of the actual outdoor gardens located around the Temple’s perimeter. Whether they would stay here was another matter entirely, as Anakin had been cooped up inside for quite a while.

"Master?" Anakin's voice was soft, as if something still pained him. Which it probably still did, as losing an arm - and a large piece of being connected to the Force along with it - was nothing to laugh at. Obi-Wan looked up to see his Padawan wrapped in his outer robe, with the hood pulled low over his face. He did look a little pale, still, and Obi-Wan frowned.

"Anakin," he said quietly. Anakin shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry," Obi-Wan added, his features relaxing into something more neutral. "I just..."

"It's okay, Master. I'll be okay."

Obi-Wan tried hard to believe him.

As Anakin moved to sit, Obi-Wan held up a hand and stood. "No, we've been in the shadow of the Temple for long enough," he explained quietly; his words morphed the puzzled look on Anakin's face into relieved curiosity. The elder Jedi motioned for the younger to follow, and they walked together in silence. Obi-Wan used the Force to keep them dry as they threaded through the streets and byways of the Temple District. He kept the pace easy, mindful of Anakin's recent release from the healer's ward.

They crossed into the Senate District and Obi-Wan led them towards the Galactic Museum. He could sense Anakin's curiosity spiking into genuine bafflement. They hadn't toured any part of the museum together since Anakin had been a child. By the time they entered the main foyer of the museum, Obi-Wan could sense Anakin starting to close off to him again.

The Master halted his Padawan and turned him so they were face to face. Obi-Wan reached up and lowered Anakin's hood and looked him in the eye. He smiled sadly and pointed over Anakin's shoulder to a sign. Anakin raised a brow before turning to look. The sign listed the wings that could be accessed beyond that particular passage; the first item was the Hyperdrive Wing, which held the history of the technology in exacting detail. Ankin turned back to his Master, clearly puzzled until Obi-Wan nudged him in that direction. Now the genuine bafflement had returned. Anakin knew full well how much this sort of stuff bored Obi-Wan to tears.

As they entered the first hall of the wing, Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan but found nothing on his Master's face to betray any explanation. They had wandered down the line of exhibits for only five minutes before Anakin couldn't take it any more.

"What are we doing here?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I wanted to talk, you needed to get out of the Temple." He gestured vaguely to their surroundings. "Two birds, one stone."

Anakin sighed. "I really don't want to talk-"

Obi-Wan interrupted him with a raised hand. "You don't need to; I just want you to listen."

Anakin scowled. "Which is all I seem to ever do when it comes to you. I guess this is the lecture you were going to give me on Tatooine?" The young man turned away, mental barriers being quickly raised. He was stopped by a single word:

"No." Obi-Wan shook his head. "Anakin, I've said everything I wanted to on the matter. What I want to say is that I have a fair idea of what else happened to you on your mission before I arrived."

Anakin was looking at him again by this point, his frown turning dark. The Padawan raised his chin in defiance, and Obi-Wan felt the pain of old wounds flare in his heart. "And what of it?" Anakin wanted to know.

 _I know what you're going to say. But don't diminish it..._ His words to Qui-Gon almost 17 years ago had Obi-Wan closing his eyes to the memory and turning away. He continued walking, arms crossed over his chest, hands tucked in his sleeves. After a moment, Anakin caught up and fell into step with him.

Swallowing thickly, Obi-Wan started: "When I was thirteen, Master Qui-Gon and I were sent to Melida/Daan to aid in the conflict between the two factions; what we found was a secret militia comprised of children from both sides, who wanted an end put to the fighting."

"Understandable," Anakin interjected, "but I don't see how this is relevant."

"That's because I haven't gotten to the relevant bit yet." Anakin flashed him a skeptical look. "The leader of the Young - that's what they called themselves - was a young girl named Cerasi. When Qui-Gon came to the conclusion that there was nothing more we could do, the Young begged us to stay. Qui-Gon said no, and I rebelled. I relinquished my lightsabre and told Qui-Gon that if leaving the Order was the only way for me to help the Young, then so be it."

"Master, I really don't...wait, what?" Anakin stopped and stared at Obi-Wan. "Did you just say...?"

Obi-Wan met the younger man's gaze. "I did. Qui-Gon thought it was because I'd become too attached to the children, that my judgement had been compromised because I'd gotten too close to the situation." He smiled sadly. "He was only partially correct. I _had_ become too attached, but not just to the Young as a group."

Anakin blinked. "You became attached to Cerasi." The awe in Anakin's voice was palpable. "Didn't you?"

"I felt a connection with her that I couldn't explain at the time. The only person other than yourself that I've ever told this story to, called it for what it was."

Awe gave way to incredulity. Was his Master really capable of falling in, "Love?"

"What passes for love at thirteen years old, yes."

"What happened?" Because clearly, here Obi-Wan stood, a venerated and highly respected Jedi Master, so obviously the defection was temporary.

"Cerasi died in my arms two days after Qui-Gon left me on the planet. I then realized how foolish I was to have forsaken the Jedi path, and I begged Qui-Gon for his forgiveness. The Council deemed my defection as a case of being misguided, and they placed me on probation for a time."

They resumed walking in silence for a spell, Anakin clearly gnawing on this new information. Obi-Wan could almost follow the thought-process the younger man had to be indulging in: if Obi-Wan had been seen as simply misguided because the Council and Master Qui-Gon hadn't know the true extent of the details, then maybe Anakin could get away with a similar indiscretion? Before this idea could root itself, Obi-Wan broke the silence.

"I very nearly left the Order twice more, after that. Even after having experienced first-hand what that would mean."

Anakin stopped in front of the exhibit on Sleeper Ships and peered at his Master. "Hold on a second," he said. " _You_ breaking the rules is hard enough to believe, but breaking the _same_ rule three times? You're lying."

"Do you sense me to be lying?" Obi-Wan asked, smiling wryly.

"Well, no, but..."

"The second incident you can verify with Master Yoda," Obi-Wan offered. "The third I'm afraid you'll simply have to take my word on. I don't even think Qui-Gon caught on with that one. Both were born from high stakes missions."

"So the second girl you fell in love with was...?"

"A fellow Padawan, when I was eighteen. She and I had what you would call an antagonistic relationship, up to that point. I'd always thought she was friends with one of the initiates who bullied me, and she hated me because of the Melida/Daan incident. During our first joint mission together, I discovered that she wasn't really friends with the initiate, and she discovered that I really was loyal to the Jedi. We became friends after that. It wasn't until several missions later that we realized we had a growing attraction to each other, and we'd both planned to leave the Order to pursue it."

"That's rich, coming from her. You temporarily leave and she questions your loyalty, only to contemplate the same sin years later?"  
Anakin snorted softly with a shake of his head.

Obi-Wan smiled. "The irony isn't lost on me, have no fear. But it didn't matter. Qui-Gon and Yoda found out, and they _both_ told me that if she and I took this path together, it would end in misery."

"How can following your heart end in misery? If you're with the one you love, doesn't that justify your decision?"

Obi-Wan smiled inwardly. Here, now, was the root of all of Anakin's conflict. This was the moment, Obi-Wan knew, where he would either plant the strong seed of reconsidering his attachment to Senator Amidala, or Anakin would be lost to him - and the Jedi - forever. He sighed gently and led Anakin to the nearest bench where they both sat. Anakin kept his robe close around him, the prosthetic arm concealed within the fabric. Obi-Wan relaxed his posture as he formulated his reply.

"It would end in misery, Anakin, because she and I were both Jedi. Following our hearts and being together would have been amazing, but as time moved on and the heat of our new-found passion relaxed into whatever it is such emotions end up becoming in long-term relationships, we would forever be looking back to our time as Jedi, asking ourselves, _what if...?_ How could we know that this war would happen? And if it did still happen, and we were no longer Jedi, our compulsion to help in the same capacity as a Jedi would be strong and unfulfilled. We would begin to view the other as the reason for our inability to serve, and our love would turn to bitterness, and eventually morph into hatred. As it was, we parted on awkward terms, and things have been amiable, but strange between us since."

Anakin was frowning again, but this time in his deep-thought way. "And the third?"

"Sprung from a long-term mission.Qui-Gon and I were mandated to protect her during a period of turmoil on her planet. We, uh," Obi-Wan fidgets little over this detail, since it's a little embarrassing to say, "we had a short-term affair, but in the end we both decided to focus on our respective duties: She as the leader of her people, and I as a Jedi. We parted amicably. In all honesty, Anakin, if she had asked me to, I would've left it all for her."

Anakin blinked over the fact that, with the exception of Qui-Gon being sent along from the start, the mission sounded a lot like Anakin's most recent set of orders regarding the Senator from Naboo. Suddenly this show-and-tell session got a whole lot more personal, and it was Anakin's turn to fidget. "Do you still love them?" The need to know rolled off him with a touch of desperation.

"Yes," Obi-Wan confirmed. "And I've learned to live with knowing that nothing can ever come of my feelings."

"How?"

"By living one day at a time, Anakin. I know now that Master Yoda was right: I am a Jedi and that is where I find my strength and my comfort. I know it deep in my soul."

"Even though you love?"

Obi-Wan smiled. "We are not immune to love, my Padawan. If we were, our Order would be the soulless husk that the more cynical of the galaxy believe us to be."

"So I have to choose, then." A statement, not a question.

"Yes, but allow me two warnings to consider - and consider them _well_ \- before you make a decision; and know that I am always available, should you ever need someone to talk to."

Anakin composed himself and nodded. "Let's hear it, then."

"First, you cannot find a compromise to 'make it work'. You will essentially be serving two masters: your calling as a Jedi and your devotion to the woman you love. In such a situation, one will always feed resentment of the other. And no, the rules cannot, and will not, be changed for you. Second, if the choice to leave the Jedi is what you seem to be leaning toward, make sure you can answer _what if?_ with no doubts, and no regrets over what you discover. If there is any shadow of misgiving, then you must reassess that choice."

Obi-Wan's words hung heavy between them. Around them, the ebb and flow of patrons enveloped them in a cocoon of quite conversations and movement.

"What will you tell the Council?" Anakin asked, finally.

Obi-Wan considered it. "Nothing. Not unless there is a reason to."

"So what happens now?"

"You and I finish our tour of the Hyperdrive wing," Obi-wan replied with a grin. "And when you're ready, I will recommend that you complete your mission by accompanying the Senator back to Naboo."

Anakin caught and held his gaze, looking for any sort of deception. Finding none, he allowed his mouth to quirk up into a tiny smile, the first since they'd met on the Temple grounds. "Then what are we waiting for? I can give you a much better tour than the so-called professionals they employ here."

Obi-Wan chuckled as Anakin stood and beckoned him to follow. The Jedi Master stood in one fluid motion and fell into step with his Padawan. He had no idea how Anakin would choose, or what sort of impact Obi-Wan's confession had on the younger man. He only hoped that it helped Anakin realize that he wasn't alone.


	4. Galactic Conversations Redux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin follows up with Obi-Wan about their previous conversation.

Anakin's summons wasn't wholly unexpected, but the coordinates for their meeting were; Obi-Wan found himself entering the Galactic Museum for the second time in as many weeks, but instead of the entrance to the Hyperdrive wing, his apprentice was pacing outside the hall leading to the Art Gallery.

"Anakin," he said by way of greeting. The younger man paused and offered a weak smile. 

"Master," he replied with a bow. "You look better." 

Obi-Wan couldn't help himself from reflexively tensing the muscles in his leg and arm to test their strength. He smiled. "As do you. I trust you're adjusting well?" This last said with a nod towards Anakin's prosthetic, which the Padawan was no longer trying very hard to conceal; he'd opted for a black glove to cover up the mechanical nature of the limb, and the choice seemed to put him more at ease with it. 

Anakin held up his hand and flexed his fingers. "Well enough. We'll need to run more 'sabre drills before I'm happy with it, but otherwise, I'm good." 

"I'll see about reserving some time in one of the training salles, then." Obi-Wan's gaze flitted between the sign overhead and his apprentice. "I take it your trip back to Naboo woke an appreciation for art?" 

Anakin's cheeks flushed pink. "Er, not exactly." He turned and started into the exhibit, Obi-Wan falling into step next to him. "I wanted to tell you what happened on my mission. Since it's directly related to our last conversation, and for that you brought me to one of my favourite wings... I figured I'd return the favour." 

"I guess I'll be the one listening, this time?" Obi-Wan flashed Anakin a grin, which was returned with a hint of mischief. 

"I talked to her, about what you said. I hope you don't mind?" Obi-Wan shook his head and Anakin continued, relaxing a little, "She tried to be the voice of reason, before, but I didn't want to listen. She agreed with you, when I told her what you said about duty and regret." 

_Good girl,_ Obi-Wan thought. Out loud he said, "And were you willing to listen to her this time?" 

"If you and I hadn't talked before, I wouldn't have. We were planning on marrying when we got back to Naboo, but we decided not to. Like you said, we don't know what's going to happen with this war, and she and I might not be able to spend as much time together as we'd like. We'd both begin to dislike our circumstances, and while I can't speak for her, I know I would certainly begin to resent the Jedi for taking, and keeping, me away from her." 

"That is a very mature decision." Anakin's look of surprise at the comment had Obi-Wan do a double-take. "What did I say?" 

"Nothing, it's just..." He trailed off, as if unsure he should say what was clearly on the tip of his tongue. 

"You may as well say it," Obi-Wan encouraged him. "We've started on this journey of being honest with each other. Stopping now would be counter-productive." 

Anakin took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm just not used to that kind of support from you." 

The comment took Obi-Wan off-guard. How could Anakin feel like he didn't have Obi-Wan's support? In their ten years together Obi-Wan had always championed Anakin to the Council and those who would have seen the young man dismissed from the Order for any number of reasons. 

When Anakin stopped to look questioningly at his Master, Obi-Wan realized that he'd stopped walking. 

"I'm sorry," Anakin said hastily. His usual response of shutting Obi-Wan out was slower in coming this time, and it ceased much more easily when Obi-Wan shook his head. 

"No, there's nothing to be sorry for," Obi-Wan replied gently. "I'm just curious as to what you mean? You've always had my support..." He trailed off as Anakin dropped his gaze. 

"You've always been there for me, yes," he began, "but that's not always the same thing. Like the beginning of this entire mission with protecting the Senator, for instance. I agree now, in retrospect, that I was out of line, and all because my feelings were getting in the way. But you could have waited until later to chastise me, or done it in a much less condescending way..." 

... _Oh_... 

"...And all of your heavy-handed reminders that I'm just your apprentice..." 

... _That_... 

"...And that I'm still young and inexperienced in a lot of things..." 

... _Huh_. Obi-Wan felt the cold wash of realization course through him, and his chest felt tight with emotion. He opened his mouth to reply, but wasn't sure what to say so he shut it. 

"There've been other times, too, but I figure the most recent examples would suffice to explain what I mean." 

They stood in silence for a long moment, as Obi-Wan thought about Anakin's charges against him. It was true, he realized. He'd always fought so hard and been so quick to defend Anakin to others that he neglected to honour those arguments himself. Not _all_ the time, mind you, but enough that Anakin had felt the need to speak up about it. 

"I didn't realize..." 

"No, you didn't. But now that it's out in the open..." 

"Yes," Obi-Wan agreed with a nod. "I promise I will try and watch myself from now on. And if I slip up, I expect you to tell me." 

Anakin held out his hand, and after a second Obi-Wan grasped it in a warrior's greeting. 

"Deal," the Padawan declared. They held on for several moments before letting go and sharing a tentative smile. 

"So," Obi-Wan said, more to avoid an awkward pause, "How did you leave things with the Senator?" 

Anakin blushed a little. "We're going to remain friends. If our love is truly as strong as we think it is, then after the war is over we'll reassess things. And if we feel like we can choose to be together without sacrificing our duty, then we will review our options." 

"Okay then." Obi-Wan wouldn't admit to anyone how relieved he was over this. 

"Now, let's see if you can make this exhibit even more boring than the curators do," Anakin teased with a lop-sided grin. 

"Oh, I'm sure I can," Obi-Wan replied with a chuckle. They fell into step once more and headed deeper into the gallery. 

For once, Anakin actually paid attention. 


End file.
